Piping Plover Court

[Skylar]

United States of America v. Skylar

So I stroll into Federal Court for my big day in court. I don't get too many big days anymore so I'm sedated for what would have been I suppose just another sedated day at work anyway.

Alas, its me and all the other Odds and Ends of Assategue Island who have for reasons far more serious than that of chasing the revered piping plover been cited and hauled off to have their day in court.

First up was the terrible lady accused of almost petting a pony. She admitted to just about but not actually touching the pony. Something like the mosquitoes actually kept her from touching the pony. Imagine, the old mosquuitoes line. For her sins she got to pay the fine and court costs.

Then the high school cheerleader who was smoking some controlled substance that her boyfriend gave her. I’m not sure why he would do such a thing, sounds so early 80’s to me. Well the poor thing tried to eat the rolled joint and burned her lips when the Ranger approached. For her senselessness she too got to pay her ticket and court costs and gets to go to a rehab center. Maybe she just needs to get out of Sussex County.

There was another guy. He looked like someone who would walk on a dune to me and sure enough, Rangers found him walking in the dunes. Claimed to be a bird watcher. Actually, claimed to be an editor for some birding magazine. The nerve of some people. He too paid for his sins.

There was this girl she, get this, had a tent pitched and did not take it down expeditiously for the Rangers. She had 25 minutes to take it down and this AMSA lady did not do it. Talk about your talk abouts. Someone like that should be hung, especially if its a pitched tent that caught the young Rangers eye. Perhaps she was.

There were some other crimes against humanity, two drunken driving charges and a suspended license charge. I think they were dismissed.

I watched as I became one of the last left. The prosecutor asked if I was an observer. No, not really, though it was what I had done for the last four hours.

I gave my name and the Judge said to the prosecutor that maybe he was to eager to issue a warrant. I guess observers are protected from warrants.

So with the thoughts of Erin Brockovich and the “If the Glove don’t fit. You can’t convict” I plead my case and the powers of discretion or the lack of. In fact, I thought it ironic that the Park Service tried to drop the all the charges if I accept the lesser offense. Perhaps that discretion should have been exercised in the first place.

Just my thought—as an observer. The Judge thought the same.

[igormothra]

Oh the sins of beach goers........

[Steve]

S, guilty of everything, including putting Skylar in the truck?
Was it the "Texas Ranger" for all the cases?
That tent thing sounds really lame.....
Guess ya just had to be there to understand the very serious offense that it was.....

[Sam]

Ah... Brings back memories for me... Many days in court.

Did you bring Skylar? Great read.

[Skylar]

Well I felt lucky that we didn't have to pay a dime other than for parking. Everyone else was paying and outside of Skylar wearing a Martha Stewart ankle braclet, he's fine!

[Steve]

Originally Posted by Skylar

Well I felt lucky that we didn't have to pay a dime other than for parking.

Huh????
You mean that $800+ was waived?????

If so, then GREAT!
If not, oops.....

[Skylar]

Waived... no fine. Judge was in agreement with what I said and dismissed everything.

[esoxangler]

VERRY NICE!!!!!!! Glad to hear it! That was a bunch of crap for nothing in my opinion.

[DaveH]

Congrats!Glad we'll be seeing Skylar again