Gentle thoughts of the day...

[chomper]

here are a few....

Gentle thoughts for today...

Birds of a feather flock together and **** on your car.


If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.


Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.


A penny saved is a government oversight.


The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right
time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.



The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your
body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.



The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a


replacement.



He who hesitates is probably right.


Did you ever notice:


The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."


If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.


If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.


The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.



There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.



Did you ever notice:


When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."

[igormothra]

I used to eat a lot of natural foods
until I learned that most people die of
natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best
way to make sure you are removing a weed
and not a valuable plant is to pull on
it. If it comes out of the ground
easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost
around the house is to buy a
replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets
out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the
quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible
rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a
grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid
someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a
camcorder these days no one talks about
seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing
again

All of us could take a lesson from the
weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.

How is it one careless match can start a
forest fire, but it takes a whole box to
start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a
cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these
dangly things here, and drink whatever
comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See
that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the
next thing that comes outta its butt."

Did you ever notice that when you blow
in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but
when you take him on a car ride, he
sticks his head out the window?

Do illiterate people get the full effect
of Alphabet Soup?

[Sam]

Great reading...

[Steve]

The second batch have GOT to be from Steven Wright.....
They're along the lines of:

"I don't have mirrors in my house, I'm afraid of walking into another dimension."